Almost the New Year...

New year old mistakes...
We start fresh. Something that we can all use. A fresh start. Forgetting the old mistakes no matter how hard it could be. Enjoying family and new friends as the clock strikes twelve. As the scenary might change. The new years party at a different house for a different reason. Still, all the same faces and the same smiles. I want to take the year 2009 into my hands and make it bloom into something I always wanted. Sucess, friends, family, and happiness. Happniess not just to me, but to all that are around me. Even to those that I see on a daily basis even if it is not in flesh. They still help me get through my day. Thank you 2008 for everything you have shown me. I'll remmeber everything until 11:59 tonight. After that, my life starts over.

New years resolution:

To not kiss or have any sexual relations with girls that are not my girlfriend.

Sounds stupid
but it is gonna get me out of alot of trouble.

cuz work is boring...

so y? So y do ppl say follow your heart do what you feel like? But yet you still listen to another peoples thoughts? They are not the ones with the feelings, they are the the ones who only see what the bad and is not feeling the good things. So y? Y let your self cry yourself to sleep? Y let ur smile go away? Y let others dictate how you should be happy? Yeah what they are saying are rational. The things they are saying is very understandable. But when your happy. They should be happy too. But no matter what you do isnt wrong. Cuz blame will always be put on me.

I finished my English final with every thought that came in my head was about you. I even wrote ute name out on the paper for a second then had to scribble it out. I wish I could scribble you out of my head just long enough to foucus on my finals. I don't think its possible though. Does my good qualities out weigh my wrongs. I don't think so. So why try to keep things going? What if you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak and tears? As much as I want you to be next to me it doesnt happen. I don't know if I am ever going to see you again. I'll try to talk to you and be friends. Can things really be same before I was a mistake? If I let you down again you wanted this. I'd rather be by myself than imagaine you crying. I know that you will doubt everything that i say and do. I won't blame you nor get mad you. I take every responsiblity for every action that I do. So here I sit alone without you. My head blank. Nothing but your nAme in my head. So I'll go. Without you

samething different day

why is it so easy to make a mistake? But it seems like that the right thing to to was the wrong thing at the mommenf? It is so easy to say just font make the same mistake again. That doesnt help a person that made a mistake many times over. Is it really worth dropping someones heart on the ground? Is that minuet of sin worth the days of heartache? Is it too easy to let the one you care for. Back into your life after the tears have dried up? The taste of salt, the wet pillow, and the hard breaths you take. All because of me. The unspoken words you keep to your head and thee thoughts in my trying not to think cuz the exam in front of me seems to be blank as I spill my head into this blog. Now I am blank. Don't worry I'm coming back .

Last day in English before finals

so a day of reminiscing and digression from professer murphy. This class was a pretty chill class for the first class of the day. Money for the grades was a good option out English 51. The blogs in this class helped me. Last readying of the essay in the stupid text book. Starbucks for the parttime teacher. Haha idk what I'm ranting about. I like sitting down with itouch typing up blogs. I just realize that ihave work tomorrow finals next week then I got a month of doing nothing. Work will be fun with all the filipinos. I just want money to eat. I only got two dowlares. Hmm I got to write that essay up I'm Hellas lazy. So he said we would get out early but we spend more time digressing then reading. I need to finish up my math homework. I want some money! Blehh not really I just want some food.:) I'm done

Hella slow

To continue with the whole stress idea i was going about...
Now that i actually have free time....
stress is the result from the demands in our life and not having enought supply to fufill those demands idk something like that...=/
For the first time last night I felt stress of school. It wasn't from any assighment that was due. Nor was it from any upcomming test. It came from the ridicoulus internet problem that has happening. The internet happen to be down around the whole valley. And it just happen to occur when Priorty 3 students were able to register for classes. So I was franticly trying to get my computer to connect to the internet. I couldnt connect =/. Then I tried using a phone. Great idea. It connected to the internet but it wouldn't let me log in. Phailure... So then I call Bebekeks to log on for me. She gets on, logs in, and then phailure again... She could not get to register for the classes. So then the stress finally hits me. The classes were in demand and I didnt have the supply of the internet. That ruined my night and I just went home. Tried the internet before i went to sleep. Lucky me. It works. Register for the classes that I wanted but not to complete satisfaction. The chemistry class I wanted to attend was at maximum capacity. So I just settled for the other one. To my surprise while i was writing this blog. I decided to check just in case. 1/26 available/capacity. Quickly, I dropped my other chemistry class and registerd for the new one. Now everything is where it is suppose to be. The stress is gone. Now I can watch everyaround me in the filled computer lab criticaly thinking, typing hastily, and rubbing their foreheads as they don't know what is suppose to be next. I sway in the chair from side to side only thinking of what letter will i hit next on the keyboard. I kinna feel bad though. I am using this computer just write a blog to where only a few select people will even read the whole thing. (This girl was so stressed she got her flip flop stuck on the table some how. o.0) Someone else can be writing their paper or finishing up their final. I need to get lab hours done any ways. Only two more hours left then I am done with this lab. The lab lady was standing over my shoulder reading what i was typing. It was kind of creepy. This whole blog was suppose to be about stress. Now, it just turned into a rant about nothing. I phail at having intellectual thoughts-_-... grrrrr..... Good news though=]. The airport job called me back and I start tomorrow =]. Yay im going to actually have money now. I can finally pay back my mom for all the gas I wasted. Or at least I can buy my own. If anything most of my money will be going to food and gas. Thats all I really wanted. I didn't want any new or nice things. I am statisfied with the clothes, the laptop, the car, and the way i live. The only thing I want is food to put in my stomach and the gas the car needs to get me there. Boba and Pho? or California Burritos and Carne Asada Fries? Now I am just really hungry. I want a burrito again. I barely have any money though. Christmas is comming up. I kind of feel the spirt. Maybe some of Linh's chirstmas songs she has been talking about will help me. More food is good too =]. Finals hmmm... Math is not going to be a problem. English I will do alright in. Public Speaking I need to start my cermonial speech for that. I have no clue what to write about. I want to honnor Manny Pacquiao for defeating De La Hoya. So much for the golden boy. Psychology. Is mayb the one spot I have to really foucus on right now. I only need 111 points to get an A. It shouldnt be that hard right? Just get another A on my exam I should be good. I just need to stop falling asleep in class and start taking notes. I wish I came back for that one day. I missed a day's lecture. To bad thats lame. I just realized that this is a really long rant. Sorry if you decided to read all the way up to this point. That is a waste of five minuets of ure life. If anything, you have time to lose becuase you came to read my blog anyways. I have to much time on my hands any ways. I got only two days of school. I finally got a job though, so I have other things to occupy my time. Next semester will be very interesting. English 1a and Chem 04 while trying to do Sociology online? But is ok becuase I just get to do the thing i love to do. Play basketball. That will be an intersting period of my time. I think i will take a dance for my next PE though. Fundamentals of music for my art. For some reason I just got really bored and i planed out my next two semester of Fall 09 and Spring 10. Lab is really ghey.

Just in case you wanted to know

FALL 09
1.BI 13- Human Ananatomy & Phisiology 1 (3)
2.SOC 4- SocAnal/Critical Thinking (4)
3.Phil 13- Perspective Death/Dying (3)
4.Phil 14- Introduction to Ethics (3)

SPRING 10
1.BI 015 General Microbiology (5)
2.BI 014 Human Anatomy &PhyII (5)
3.MUS 012 Fund of Music (3)
4.HEC 013 General Nutrition (3)

This is just incase there is not any intersession or summer agian.
I wish that bio didnt conflict with chem this year or i would of taken it.
Or at least i should of placed in Eng 1A when i tested. That was ghey.
Hopefully there is a summer session and stuff so I can have a lighter load.
Because looking at that schedule. It looks pretty hectic.

I liked sitting her by myself. Writing in my blog about nothing. It was pretty relaxing I must admit. I should go eat tho im getting really hungry. I dont even know how much money I gots. I need to do some recycling. Its good for the earth and its good for my pocket! I also need to drink that big case of vitamin water that I have in my closet. I need to drink water period. I don't really drink the recomened value. I am going to have liver problems like peter said when he read my palm. I want a palm reading book for xmas too. That seemed pretty cool. =]It feels good to get nothing done but still doing alot at the same time... Well its lunch time so lets go eat!

My Hero

Pacquiao vs De La Hoya

They said it would be a superfight

They said that De La Hoya had it 2 to 1

They said that De La Hoya was to big

They said that De Lahoy was to tall

I said Pacquiao will fxck him up XD



What Happened?

Take Care

Typically, a doctor only spends about a fraction of their time with a patient. It is solely a nurse who assesses and provides for all admitted patients. In an ordinary hospital setting, a person would find the nurse responsible for: filling out reports and charts, making rounds looking at labs before administering medication, overseeing patients’ activities and meals, communicating amongst doctor’s and patients, and providing support for patients’ families. In addition, recovery is the longest period of stay in a hospital. It is the nurse’s responsibility for ensuring the patient’s feel comfortable, safe and well taken care of. A registered nurtures their patients along the way to full recovery. An individual in this profession would experience a gratifying moment. Nurses can be considered as the backbone of a hospital, because majority of support comes from them. The career of a nurse is filled with responsibilities and benefits.
Job Description
A nurse’s career comes with many responsibilities as stated above. A nurse would regularly assess patient health problems and needs, develop and implement nursing care plans, and maintain medical records (Par 1). Nurses would not only do this for one patient, but for many different patients on the same floor on the same night (Reperajo). More responsibilities would be to give care to ill, injured, convalescent, or disabled patients (Par 1). Giving stipulations to a patient after discharge to furthermore help the process to a full recovery is another duty (Par 1). A patient might appreciate the thought that the nurse would help him or her past the hospital administration episode of their recovery. Nurses are filled with many duties every day they step into a hospital.
Working Conditions
A typical nurse would work inside a hospital. There are many different areas of a hospital that a nurse could be stationed at. Different areas would include intensive care unit, operational room, emergency room, and the medical-surgical unit floors. They could also be working in a clinic or a home health care. Most nurses work in a well-lighted and comfortable health care facility (Par 1). Most health care facilities are clean and sterile as needed to tend to the public’s need. There are many different hazards in a health care facility when on the job, since nurses are constantly in contact with patients. Patients could be carrying many different infectious diseases and environment full of toxic, harmful, or potentially hazardous compounds, solutions, and medications (Par 2). An area where a nurse has to be aware at all times is a clinic where patients go to test or get treated for infectious diseases as well as any other hospital. There are many strict regulations to protect nurses from disease and other dangers, such as those exposed by radiation, accidental needle sticks, chemicals used to sterilize instruments, and anesthetics (Par 2). All these dangerous hazards can harm the nurse if they were not careful handling the equipment and not aware of their surroundings. Back problems can also occur from moving patients from bed to bed (Par 2). Nurses would not regularly move a patient by themselves; it usually takes two people to move a patient successfully, without harming him or her. Long term emotional stress is one of the biggest hazards that a nurse can experience throughout their career, as a result of forming bonds with patients and their families (Cornejo). Nurses also face everyday critical decisions, and ethical dilemmas and concerns (Par 2). Many decisions that a nurse would make will either help the patient recovery sooner or create more suffering for the patient. Even if the ambiance of the health care facility is uplifting, there are still hazards and stress factors that a nurse deals with.
Personal Characteristics, Abilities, and Skills
Good and successful nurses share an abundant amount of different characteristics, abilities and skills. Generally, a nurse tends to be caring, sympathetic, responsible, and detail oriented (Par 23). Without those basic characteristics a patient could find a nurse to be cold-hearted or uncaring. A nurse should be an active listener; pay attention fully when a person is speaking, spend the time to understand their patient, ask questions when needed, and continue listening without interrupting the speaker (Par 3). Nurses can get very confused or disoriented when not listening to the doctors’ directions or the family. A nurse must have reading comprehension with work related text and medical language (Par 5). Nurses have to be able to read the notes and prescription of the patients that they might have. Misreading any material can cause the patient discomfort. Being able to communicate effectively to others on a daily basis through speaking is a skill required (Par 3). Everyday a nurse has to communicate with the patient on the status of their well being, because the nurse has to assess what might be needed for him or her to recover sooner. Critical thinking is a skill that can give the most stress to a nurse (Abaya). Critical thinking can be described as being able to be logical and reasonable to find strong points and weak points to different solutions, conclusions and approaches to problems (Par 5). Nurses must use critical thinking when a patient may experience respiratory or cardiac changes and the need to make life threatening decisions must happen in a seconds notice. Monitoring is when a nurse looks for improvements within themselves, other individuals or organizations (Par 3). Nurses look to grow in their careers to become more successful and for their health facility to prosper at all times. Social perceptiveness is when the nurse understands the reactions of others and why they react that way (Par 5). Social perceptiveness helps the nurse to help the patient’s family and the patient to cope with the situation in a brighter way. Service Orientation is a basic of nursing. A nurse will actively look for people who need help (Par 5). Assisting people in need is what a nurse is best at. Active Learning is a must in a nurses list of skills. As new information comes in everyday, the nurse is able to use new and current information for making decisions and solve problems for the future (Par 5). Nurses face new problems everyday, whether or not a nurse can actively learn determines the successfulness of their career. A simple skill would be coordination; being able to adjust to others (Par 5). Every patient is different and a nurse must be able to adjust to their different needs. A nurse has the ability of problem sensitivity; ability to tell when something might or will go wrong (Par 3). This could help prevent a terrible accident that is not wanted. A nurse is highly skilled when it comes to the ability of deductive and inductive reasoning (Reperajo). Deductive reasoning is the ability to apply general rules to specific problems to produce answers that make sense (Par 5). Inductive reasoning is taking unrelated items of information and combining them into a general rule or conclusion (Par 3). These two types of reasoning are used to solve a problem that nurses face to help patients with a speedy recovery. Nurses attain many different skills and abilities for their careers to be successful and to provide a quality service to the public and others.
Education
Nursing school is available at colleges and universities. It takes up to four years for a student to receive a bachelor’s of science degree in nursing for a registered nurse (Par 14). This is quite commonly referred to as a BSN. All nursing programs require taking a different array of classes such as: anatomy, physiology, microbiology, chemistry, nutrition, psychology and other behavioral sciences, and nursing (Par 16). Most of these classes are all pre-requisites before being accepted into a nursing program. Also, students of the nursing programs are required to have a clinical experience where the student gets supervised training in a health care facility (Par 15). Nurses do not only care for the ill, but also have knowledge in many different fields. For instance medicine is a major part of a nurse’s knowledge. People of this profession learn the techniques and information about how to diagnose and treat human injuries, diseases and deformities (Par 4). This is the big chunk of knowledge that a nursing student will need to learn in order to be successful. Knowledge of human behavior and performance is the field of psychology that a nurse learns (Par 2). Nurses have to understand how people would react under certain circumstances to help them cope with any situation. Nursing education is a difficult program because of the amount of information needed to be learned in a four year period.
Salary and Job Outlook
Nursing is one of the most on demand jobs on the market in medicine. It is harder to require a job due to the recession that the United States is in. The money that a nurse receives is one of the appealing aspects of the job. The median of 2008 of registered nurses salary is $57,208 (Par 2). The lowest hourly wage for a registered nurse is $20.20 (Par 2). The highest hourly wage for a registered nurse is $41.97 (Par 2). This amount of money can make a middle-class family very happy. Nursing might be one of the fasting growing jobs on the market today. A 23% increase is being projected from years 2006 to 2016 (Par 28). This is faster than most average jobs. With more people becoming nurses, patients are better taken care of and recover quicker. Employers are actually having a lack of RN’s to hire and younger RN’s to hire also (Par 36). This is good news to many young aspiring RN’s students. This is one job that the recession can not affect.

Conclusion
Nursing has become the number one in demand job in the healthcare field due to the needed RN’s and the salary. The profession is very appealing to young students due to the recession that the United States is in at the moment. The RN program is a very tough program to get through. A dense amount of information is learned in four years. After becoming a licensed registered nurse, many responsibilities come upon the nurse. With the responsibilities of people’s lives also come the hazards of infectious diseases and the hazards of the equipment and tools. Emotional distress might come along after a long period of time due to the difficult decision making and the possibility of seeing a patient lose their life. The great benefit comes though, when a suffering human being is able to walk out the hospital fully recovered and happy to be back to a healthy state of being. I chose the career of being a registered nurse so I can make a difference in a persons life and their families life, also to have the necessities to start my own family.

what am I zdoing?

so I'm sitting in English class and I'm thinking what I need to do for this class. I haven't started my essay yet. I haven't made questions for my interviews. But even all off that I'm still feeling good. There is a paqiou fight this sat.de la hoya said there will be a knockout. And we know who is going down. Then I have to tutor which won't be really tutoring just trying to finish my essay. I think everything is where it us suppose to be. So something about an English literacy orientation? Next Tuesday the essay is due. Four pages. Easy enough. Even though English isn't my strong point. I believe in my self. Let's see how lazy I get. On the bright side there is a surprise party on Sunday yay. So I just found our that doe our final we have to write two essays and answer a bunch of questions. How fun right. Writing blogs in class is fun :) even if it is boring its better than listening to murphy digress all the time.

So the essay goes like this
interviews
how
quote
parapharse
summarize

Research means search again!

3-4 sources for each topic

Idk I feel like I am wasting my time doing nothing taking notes in my blog and ranting about nothing.

So fo real I'll actually talk about something.

STRESS

Stress is when we can't deal with the demands in life with the supply we have.

I'm sure everyone is feeling with some kind of stress right now. I am somewhat with the essay my last exam in psych and my speech finish this later umma go to the library.

picnic table

so I'm sitting on a piece of wood with ppl I know but really I don't know. Earphones in my ears listening nthinkin bout it. Types on an iPod with a breeze to my back while everyone rushes to get things done as the semstsr comes to a close. Everyone is already looking to the future for next semesters classes. I sit and ponder why do we put all these stresses upon us? Essays due exams to study for. What am I doing u may ask? Sitting down on a picnic table listening to music not caring for what hapeenes next.

Bored in ASC

trying to study for psychology
im really hungry
registration starts for spring semester dec 2
Eng 1A
Chem 4 or 1
Either a art or humantity
And Soc 4
trying to get them all on tue and thur hopefully ending my day before 6

psych is lame bleh
Xd

The things we do

The Things We Do

A person would usually do this every day. It has something that we as human beings do. It might be as simple as forgetting to take out the trash. It could be as serious as cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend. No matter how big or small it is we try to avoid it as much as possible. We as people make mistakes everyday.
We see mistakes as failures. We see mistakes as bad and embarrassing. How do we learn without making mistakes in our life? Making a mistake is not the end of a person’s life. Making a mistake is not bad or a failure at all. Thomas Edison made 10,000 mistakes before creating the light bulb (wikipedia.org). Every mistake he made was a mistake he learned not to do again. Mistakes are lessons we learn from life. A person might make the same mistake more than once. If a person can take those mistakes and turn them into life lessons, then mistakes are a good thing if looked in a different perspective.

In everyday life people are afraid to make mistakes. Ryan Allis wrote in his article “Failure and Learning,” that people are afraid of making mistakes and failing. So people never try to do anything thus avoiding making a mistake. This just leads people into what is not wanted, failure. Failure is just another mistake. The mistake of not doing anything can not get us were we want. To reach a goal or an achievement a person should attempt and not be scared of failure. A great example is Christopher Columbus finding America. Even though he failed at finding a passage to India, he succeeded in finding a new land that grew into what we live in today. If people are to afraid to make mistakes, then there would never be success.

I have made many mistakes in my live. Any where from the little things like, forgetting to wake up my mom for work. All the way to something big like, cheating on my girlfriend. My biggest mistake was “kissing and telling.” I guess it was a guy thing to talk about the “physical relations” with the female sex. So of course, it came back to me and bit me in the ass. The thing that made it worst was I was getting it from two of my ex-girlfriends. They both labeled me as the biggest mistake in their lives. To top everything off, I just told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. Three girls and I was the mistake in all of their lives. It was one of the lowest times of my life.

After the ten minutes of the lowest time in my life, I wiped the tears of my face and realized that with every mistake comes a lesson. The lesson I learned was that to never talk about your business in the bedroom. Girls are very sensitive about the things that happen. I do not see my ex-girlfriends leaving me as a bad thing. I am not afraid to date other girls. I do not have the fear that I will be labeled as a mistake again. I use my previous mistakes to my advantage to make things better the next time around. It is better to love, than not to love at all.

To the simple minded a mistake is an error. If a person who thinks a mistake is a lesson. People should be afraid to make mistakes. People should take chances. Mistakes are made everyday. When we get the opportunity to learn from a mistake, it should be a lesson we take. The important thing is not to make the same mistake twice. I learned from my mistake about keeping things a secret. I am not scared of being labeled as a mistake again. People should not be looked down upon their mistakes or failures. People should be appraised for putting themselves out there to try things that are uncommon and not being afraid of the embarrassment that might come with it. After all, we are only human.

Today was good

Two pairs of "The Hundreds" shoes $112.00
Three Member Only Jackets $18.00

Spreading Love Priceless

:]

ITS TUESDAY!

its tuesday i got a 94 on my psychology test

i ate alot

and the lakers are on! :]

and I miss Jennifer Lacaden Rondero "BebeKekes".

Yesterday

was a good day
lets hope we have another one like that

"I like your smile!":]

English today

English class was ok today. I forgot to buy the book for class. Aura sounds alrite though. I need to get that finished. We got a midterm in class essay next tues again. I got a Big weekend in front of me. I still have class tonight. Im busy friday night im gone all day sat. Sun I have no idea what i will be doing. Mon I have a grip of homework to do. I am in the lab right now studying for psychology. Second exam. Hopefully i do as good as i did last time.

The stress of school is now catching up with me now. I only go to school twice a week. but yet i find my self busy. I need to learn how to manange my time more.

We have been stuck on compare and contrast for a while now. Im glad i didnt have to come up with another essay. Compare and Contrast essays are quite simple though. Pick your side and defend your point. Its all pretty simple to me.

Ive been doing good essays. At least that is what I am being told be everyone. I keep on getting B's on them though. Well I like my essays myself. The blogs have really helped too. I havent really wrote much about English Class until now. But i am still going to use this Blog even after English.

Woot Fullerton Rock the City Jam. Darthflava vs Duosama and finally I get to see L10.

Sat Seeing Bebekeks again. Spend the whole day with her family. And Get some of that famous chicken your mom makes all the time. haha And your aunts and uncles of course. To bad I dont get to meet lily. Katrina maybe? But its ok its for Lani's Bday!:]

Last Sat

Last saturday happen last saturday...
if you were not there then you missed out.
dont want to talk about it
cuz all im thinking about is this saturday ;]!

Jobs...

I cant find any grrrr...........They just dont like me.

Mistakes

We make mistakes from time to time. When is it when we stop making those mistakes? Why cant the world just know whats rights. Other than doing whats wrong. There are rules for a reason. To guide us away from the mistakes. It not worth it. Just do what is right. People say think before you leap. Stick to the plan. Stay in the ruts. So the world goes on as we learn from the mistakes we make. There are some mistakes that you can make which wont give you the chance to learn from it. Lucky nothing happens. If you were meant to go you would go. Accidents happen. Take care and make better choices.

"If you were about to get in a car accident, and you saw jesus, You told him Not yet. And he asked When then?"

Realization

First off,
My blog my rules.
Dont like it dont read it.
Its not like you really care.
Unless you do then comment on it.



So what have i learned from yesterday? That just because two people think that you are not a good person, doesn't mean everyone thinks that of me. People need chances. People take chances. People learn and evolve from there mistakes. I know people that I gave chances to and I did not regret it. Nor do i regret anything that i ever did. The only thing i need to do is learn from a mistakes. I know I made mistakes. Realizing what I did wrong was the first thing i need to do.

I have no problem giving people chances. A good person takes chances and gives chances. We are not perfect. I am not perfect. And if I cant get a girl because of the mistakes i made.


I can get her with just my goodlooking pants. :] Remember I was not the mistake. You make your own choices. Your mistakes are your fault not mine. Don't give it up to easy now. All i had were nice pants :]

Also, since when can I not talk to more than one person? That's why I am single. I was talking to girls because I know they could make me happy. But I guess girls are not happy when I talk to other girls??? Selfish much? But I really want to know why both of you had to talk about me so much. Almost like you were obsessed by it. That i was the bad guy. And both of you did everything so perfect. Pffftt. I think i remember that Alyssa didnt like Michelle that much cuz of what happen between me and her. Funny that you guys are good awesome friends now. You think Im full of shit? I guess having feelings for someone is wrong. I dont see why there is a problem with having feelings for more then one person when I am single. I am sorry that i try to make girls like me. It just gets me hated on. I have a weakness to make a girl smile. I've been labled shit talker, cheater, stupid ass, and all sorts of stuff. But come find out yourself if you think you are up to it. If you think like my x gfs then dont bother talking to me. If your a person who wants to smile come say hi but be careful not to get attached.

And if i was or am a mistake. I was glad that you made that mistake with me.

So Now I Know

Today, I found out who i really am. How things change so much. What have I really become. I found that the person who I am, Was the one thing that I never wanted to be. I am just like any other stupid guy. The guy who does everything wrong. I bet you are think to your self. Why I am like this. I'll show you now.

This is the message that Alyssa sent to me today.

ohh dont even give me that bullshit..
okayy well all i have to say is that im so serious no games.
i regret everything i did and everything we went thru with eachother as a couple! today meeting you ex gf michelle was probably the most exciting thing that's happened todayy.. yeah and its is pretty daymn sad what she did to you but i don't blame her. how dare you even have the nerve to tell people what we did with eachother. or even our business. i f-ing hate you for that. and to tell you the truth meeting you was the biggest mistake of my life. you are far most the biggest regret i've ever had in my life. how dare you you fuckin do me dirty like that. evrything you did for me and everything you said to me were all lies. telling people our "business" omgodd you got to be kidding me. you're are so daymn low. i could care less of how you think of me. because you running your mouth telling people stuff that should'nt have even been said, it just tells me how you think of me for even going to that level. whether were together or not. how could you. i should've known from the beginning. how could i be so daymn naive and stupid. i hate myself for even being with you. i wish i didnt meet you so i could not feel this way. i hate this feeling. fighting for you going against my family was all for nothing. it was so not worth it. im very truly sorry for even having that chance to be with you. and this is the way i feel. that's what guys do they hurt girls and they don't give a daymn. and you so have proved to me that all guys are the same until someone can prove me wrong! just don't ever say my name out of your mouth. lets go on with our lives knowing we didnt meet eachother erasing every moment we had spent with eachother. i know you will not care of how i feel with you cause it is true i am just another girl. but just know how i feel. and just dont ever remember me. i don't consider you an ex so jsut don't consider me one. and please stop running your mouth telling people what we did. because i alreadyy forgotten.
i can't believe i fell in love with a kind of person like you but im willing to let go and forget everything about you. and fall out of love with you as the day i started when i first fell in love with you. im sorry. but just forget and never remember. GOODBYE!

After you read that. I am pretty sure that you hate me too now right? because i thought i knew how to treat a girl. I thought that i knew how to keep a person happy. I thought i was doing everything right. So you might think that its only one girl you cant be that bad of a guy. Well her example number 2.

This is the message number 2 From x gf Michelle.

whatever jp, you are just full of shit and you're the biggest mistake i've made in my whole life. i wish i never met you. biggest regret ever and i just can't stop thinking about what we did because i fucked up. biggest mistake EVER.. bye.

yeah thats right i am a mistake. i did make mistakes. everything that was right was wrong. every smile that i ever put on her face was not really worth it. everything i really did just turned out to be nothing at all. so i am the one guy you never want to be like.

Now you are thinking. no ure not. its ok people make mistakes. well i keep on making them over and over.

Now this is the hardest thing that i will ever have to do. I have to confess to you. and show you that i am not really the person you think i am.

To Jennifer,

No one knows this but alyssa. I never told you cuz i didnt want this mistake to end us. But i am a mistake. I am sorry. I did you wrong. This is the real reason why we broke up. brace yourself. pls.

Remember how i used to say.
Why men cheat on women.
well that is just stupidest stuff ever.

But then again I am the stupidest thing ever.







Im sorry but i cheated on you. I kissed my ex gf Alyssa.









Know everyone will know. What the real person i am. I am the lowest piece of crap ever. And I know you will hate me too now. Its ok i understand. But i want you to know that all the feelings that i have for you are real. That i did make a mistake. And I am sorry if i was mistake.

Jp, I did not ever find what was right. But i know i am the ones who make all the wrongs. This is the hardest thing i ever had to do. Killing my self now will be a breeze.

The Day Before To Last Night To Today

I wake up to a call Friday afternoon after the long night before. Well really i missed it. I tried to call her back cuz she left me a voice mail. It was her Birthday party. Jamielyn besties from befores. Haha. She called me for some tables and chairs. Of course i came to supply. I was just gonna drop them off but i thought to myself. Its been along time and ive been wanting to kick it with jay and his sister. We were suppose to clean and mower the grass. But we just sat in the truck and talked for thirty minuets. Then jermaine calls and he is with david so then we pick them up. Then gordy calls then we pick him up. So there is six of us in the car. going to Jay's. A lil bit of tekken then i go outside to help jamielyn with the leaves. Really i just sat there and told her she was doing it slow.

Then jermaine came out with david and they got kicked out. HAha stupid fools. Jay was getting "distracted". So then i started helping out so we dont have to leave. Id rather clean and hang out with them then go back home to the boring life i live there.

David did the poorest job trying to mower the grass. So then i did it. Tagalogs dont know how to do hard labor. Ilocano's thats whats up. Clean all the chairs and table. Then Me and Jay went to Little Ceasars to get some Hot and Readys. I found out a lot of mexicans work there. And they all happen to be girls. And the cashier was kinna cute. she didnt hear me when i asked for her number tho. But she did give me some cheese and peppers haha. thats whats up.

All sat down and ate pizza. Just the 6 of us. Having a lil kick back after some hard work. Just makes it feel so much better. Work a lil, Eat a lil, Chill a lil. Nothing better than that with some friends.

Then we started to session. We had to jack our own floor from my cuzins house. Breaking got really hype. jaimelyn cant learn windmills. And we started a crew without a name. And we found out the raido didnt work.

I met Jaimelyns cusin that night. Shantal we wernt there to long cuz david left. So then we left. jermaines ass had to be home at 7 and it was already 11. not my fault though.

Next Day

Bought some meat for the party later on that night.

Ate some Pho before i left.

Got to jamielyns. started slow at first. but it was kewl though. I just wanted to chill. Started talking to Shantal. Turns out she is looking for what is right also. Decisions we dont want to make but we think about making them all the time. Remembering wats good. So then the bad doesnt seem that bad. We all have our problems. Facing them is what we need to do. Better then just think of what could be or wat will it be.

WOOT DID FOUR WINDMILLS!:]

Ha. Tam and Terences is good peoples. We had to eat cake before i took them to there grandmas first. Left an hour after they were suppose to be home. Tam has to take the yelling cuz terence cant thats whats up. Sorry guys if i got you in trouble. it was worth it though. You have my shirt TAM!

Michelle was straight being mean to me. I guess cuz she doesnt give out hi's. And its my fault when i didnt say hi to her.


sitting around the bonfire was good. keeping my kids warm and almost getting them burned off. I also cut myself opening a corona. Tried to finally say hi to Michelle and tried talking to her. But i guess i couldnt sit next to her cuz kyle was sitting there.

I guess she was just feeling awkward around me. The only person who would know why is her. She wont tell me though.

Its weird how things end. but really they dont. things always come back. keeps things interesting

Later on that night

Had my party canceled cuz to many people found out. It oks though. We moved it to mya's. We had a kick back. I like those better then the parties. Makes socializing alot easier. I feel asleep though. And people wrote on me. Damn. got home at 3 and tried to sleep. i have a game in the morning.

Morning after.

I only had 3 hours of sleep. Woke up and called bebekeks. Woke her up when i was half asleep. Stole a frap in the fridge. We had first game. We almost won. But we always lose it at the end. But we did win the last game. 97 to 71 i only had 3 points lame. but its ok cuz were 2 and 8 haha. So we play the Grey team. Lets do this. Playoffs. After that Black. we got this at least 3rd. haha

pretty much my days in a row. sorry if it was boring. But its ok you could of stopped reading it a long time ago.

Last Night

So cinnespace was just a waste. A long drive to hollywood blvd. The drive to Hollywood was more fun and intresting then the club. Good stories all around. Nothing but punjabs and black ppl getting crazy. It was to crowded to dance. There was not enough asain girls. The only good thing about it was that we got in free. We need to go with more people next time.

Pho 2000 or Korean bbq? We couldnt choose so we back and forth. I think it was kinna awkward to go back to pho. It was good tho. The meatballs werent soo good tho. It was like a korean drama movie in there.

Krispy kreme. Krispy kreme donuts. Is the donuts for you and me!

Got home. A lil drool hanging from my mouth. Get inside his house expecting to smoke hookah. Just acts of desperation of phone calls and txts.

Got home and sleep till 12pm!

woot!

Thx Mark, Jason, Bryan.

Last minutes of my Birthday.

I know you are going to be the first one to read this and maybe the only one. So THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR MAKING THIS BIRTHDAY THE BEST BIRTHDAY SO FAR! :] I am sitting her on your computer with the smell of tilapia that your mom is cooking.

The starting of my birthday was lame here. All i did was sit on a couch and i didnt even get fed. So that was not much of a happy bithday experience. i dont even remember her telling me happy birthday. Then the good part of my day started when i rolled up to your drive way.

I was very excited to see you again. I had a big smile when i saw you walk out that door. First thing i did was hug you becuase i doing that. Then the hour we spent inside your house waiting for your sister to get ready. In the meantime, the card you made for me was the best card ever. I'll have that in my room for everyone to see. :] And also thank you for the gey JOHNASTY BRO'S cd. i still think they are gey. but i will listen to them when i get home. BJ's or Sushi was the question of the day. So who doesnt want BJ's ??? We choose sushi instead.

Your brother, sister, you and I went to sushi camp. There was the soy beans that your sister did not know how to eat. The mexicans that look bakla making sushi. You got the teryaki bowl and I got a catipillar roll and a crunch roll. Which were both very good. To bad I didnt finish it. You can go finish it if you want. Thats if you liike eel. HAHA you dont know how to use chopsticks. At least you tried though. Lani couldnt really do it. Well both of you cant even do it. So i had to look stupid and ask for a fork. It was a well spent thirty two dollars. And your brother and your sister kept on laughing at us.

Your brother went to the car wash and went home not knowing what to do. BUT we had a great idea. Lets go watch nick and norah again! the movie was at one forty. and it was already one thiry. We got there at one fifty. Walking to the movie hand in hand :]. You saw that one girl you didnt like. And some other people that you sit with at lunch. to bad Tris reminded you of someone else. BUT NOTHING HAPPEN SO YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!

MOVIES OVER! once again not knowing what to do we sat in the car not doing anything till we decided to go back home even though you didnt want to. We took the side street becuase i was on the wrong side of the road! but its ok. taking the long way is fine when you are in the car with me :].

We get home and your mom is home! I say hi to her and bless her of course. We sat in the loft and i got my bracelet on. Watchin tyra and neyo. Then your sister had to get some chips and baby cups. SO off to ralphs we go. You change into the shirt i got you hopefully you will wear it often. WEAR IT TOMORROW! This time we remember to bring the gey johnas brothers with us. Good thing the drive was short. Sorry i almost made the wrong turn. AND I WASNT GOING TO HER HOUSE!

Your sister told you that your brother knows about us. HAHA good luck with that tomorrow. but your brother is cool though

Now i am sitting on the computer reflecting on my day with you. The greatest birthday ever so far. You are sitting behind me and writing on my shirt. Hopefully you write as much as i did. The lil stick figure your sister made is good. I know you dont want me to leave. But i must go for dinner is at my house.

I wish i could just take you home. And you cant go out this weekend. I dont know if this is the last time i will see you. I hope its not. When you get your license you can come see me!

Thank you again for making this birthday very special for me. I will think of you the whole way back home and more :].

The day before tomorrow

Sorry i havent posted in a while. But its ok cuz now im here. Today at school was alrite. I kinna got mad that the person who did my peer review wrote all over my paper. Which was the final draft, and i have to turn it in. You think a person would know that right? At least ask if it is ok to write on someones paper. I would of wrote all over his paper but i didnt cuz i knew that we had to turn it in. His paper lacked alot more then mine and he said that "it needed more."

well enough about that. my car smells like chicken sandwiches cuz i forgot to eat them for lunch and i left them in the trunk. in fact they are still sitting in there. I should eat them later. excited for tomorrow?

why yes i am :]

Making Things Easy, Like a Rock

Joan always thought having a relationship with someone would be quite easy. Relationships are not as hard as solving an algebra equation or writing a short story. She thought to herself that everything will be a breeze.
Joan is a young woman with great confidence. She carries her self well everywhere she goes. She is attractive to most men and dresses to impress. She is quiet simple though. She wears a simple white tank top with dark denim skinny jeans. Everyone looks towards her to get a glimpse of what a beautiful girl should look like.
Joan starts to chat with a friend of a friend on Myspace. Justin was the lucky guy.
Justin looked like the perfect guy for Joan. His taste in style reflected Joan’s very well. He wore simple white shirts with dark fitted jeans. His unique baseball hat topped it off with a handsome looking face.
Joan and Justin’s relationship starts to build after the many messages, text, and talking on the phone. Joan decides that it is time to visit the guy who puts the smile on her face everyday. The drive would be an hour away because unfortunately they do not live in the same area.
Joan arrives at Justin’s school in anticipation of seeing him in person for the first time. She sits in front of his school in her Mercedes Benz, which looks better than she does.


She has a weird feeling in her stomach as she looks for Justin in the crowd of people. Joan calls Justin’s cell phone and searches the people who are talking on the phone trying to pick out which one could be him.
He answers, “Hello.”
Her voice trembling, “I’m here.”
“Where?”
“In the brown Mercedes.”
“I see you. I’m coming.”
Joan admires Justin from a distance as he walks towards her car and opens the door. This is their first time seeing each other face to face. It would be a moment in time that Joan could never forget. Their eyes lock as he slowly sits down in to the leather seat. They smile at each other speechless until Joan finally says “Hi” in a quiet shy innocent voice.
The day goes on while they go on a date; they drive around his town and looking at the sights; there was not much to look at, but Joan did not care. She was more focused on the sight of the handsome man sitting in her passenger seat.
They decided to go to a small Mexican restaurant to try carne asada fries that Joan had heard about. They ate their food and sat outside to talk. Justin had felt like things were going so good that he decided to ask Joan if she would like be to be his girlfriend. She picks up her head to look at him in the eyes to see if he was really serious. She puts a smile on her face and replies “Yes.”
Joan decided that she should take him home. He was expected to be home at six and he is already two hours late. Justin invites her in to his house to meet his parents. She is shy to meet his parents but goes inside anyway to spend more time with Justin. The night moves on and they have a good time. Joan leaves his house late taking every second that she could to spend more time with Justin
Three weeks pass by and they have not seen each other since. Their feelings grow for each other when they would talk to each other on the phone day and night.
Joan has something that has been on her mind. She misses Justin tremendously. Joan thinks that she can not handle the relationship with Justin. The distance was the obstacle that got in the way of her happiness. She decides to let her feelings out to Justin on the phone.
Justin answers his phone “Hey Bebekeks!” with great enthusiasm; glad to talk to his girlfriend for the first time that day. There is an awkward silence after as Joan feels sick to her stomach, as she is going to tell him the bad news. She spills it out all out once.
“I can’t handle the distance anymore,” she blurted out. “It is too much and I miss you all the time. I don’t have the time to see you any more and things are just not working out. It is not your fault, so don’t think it is.” She feels like she just pushed a boulder off her chest. The worst is yet to come. She awaits his response.
“Well if that’s how you feel, then I guess so.” His voice sounds not sure of himself. He wanted to say “No, we can work this out,” but the words were stuck in his throat. He just lets her go. Regret is the only thing he feels at the moment. The tears slide down Justin’s cheeks in silence; not knowing at the same time Joan does the same.
They both remain good friends after the break up. Things are never the same as they live their days apart. Joan learns that to make things easy, there has to be a hard part to go through. It is easy to quit, but it is always unbearable to let go of someone a person cares for.

My shift key broke

I just got back from school. I got out a little bit early because I had a Psychology test today. I finished pretty quickly. I was at school all day yesterday trying to study. I did not get that much done at school. Some how i pulled it out, and everything i saw felt familiar to me. I am relived but I still have other things to tend to.
English class today was alright. I woke up kind of late then at the regular time that i do. I said "$#!+ I have class today." I got ready really quick. I got crappy parking though. When I got into class I totally forgot my English textbook on my passenger seat. I did not do my narrative essay that I went to school for yesterday. I just got the idea for my essay though. I am going to start typing that up right now. Hope you can enjoy it later.

English Class

So I am starting this blog quiet late. But late is better then never right? English class its self is going quiet well. I enjoy Mr. Murphy's teaching style. His digressions become very interesting other than the regular old people just teaching English in an English class. I thought that the essay I wrote today was better then a lot of my previous writings.
I was at school all day today. I arrived at 9:30 am and left at 7:30. I didn't even get done what i wanted to do today. I went to school to get lab hours done. Instead I ended up "attempting" to study for the psychology test. I hung out at the HILB all day. I felt pretty useless all day. Didn't get much done.
It was not because i was lazy. I had a lot of things on my mind. Last night I made a mistake. There are rights and wrongs in life. I try to do the right things in life, but I'm still human; I still have my wrongs. I broke up with my girlfriend because of "distance."
All her friends think that I am wrong and that I was stupid for doing it. Many of her friends said "Why did you even take the chance? Long distance doesn't work." I'll tell you why I did take the chance though. I believe that it is right to take chances until you find out that it is a wrong choice. It might be wrong now,later it could be right though.
That's all I have to say right now come and check back again soon.

Descriptive Essay

Broken Beauty

The unusual day started with my dad’s foul words in the air hitting my ear. I quickly come to realize that the day was going to be bad. My hair moist and my body cold from the shower I have just stepped out of. I feel the cold hard floor under my bare feet as I walk on the dark tar across the street. I can smell the rain of last nights pour as I approach my Mercedes Benz that sits on four tires across the street, I notice the small particles lying all over the ground. My worst dreams have come true; someone has disrespectfully damaged my car.

The tan color exterior of the beauty has been tarnished with hate. The glossy paint shined as the sun’s rays bounced right off it. All my eyes are focused on the empty space at the rear of my car where my window used to be. Little pieces of glass like, scattered confetti after a parade, lie on the trunk of my car and the black tar of the road. As I look in astonishment of the destruction of the exterior, the interior had it much worst.

The slick black leather glistens in the sun and is sprinkled with little glass treats that I did not want on my back seats. The weapon of choice lays on the seat dark and round with small craters all around it. I relive the moment in my head, thinking of someone’s hands holding the rock over their head and launching it through my back

window fiercely. The material around the rear speaker of my car looked like a bear swiped it with its claws. The rock left a reminder of the damage that has put my car through misery.

As I ran my hand along the car I could feel every inch of damage along my finger tips. The feel of the indentations from a sharp rock felt like I had just lost something dear to me. Every little bump I felt from the tiny pieces of glass lying on my car hurts my skin. As I stick my hand through the space where the window used to stand, I felt an eeriness that runs through my body. As I hold a handful of broken pieces of glass it felt like things could never come back to the way they were suppose to be.

As I walk away in tears trying to block out the swearing of my dad’s mouth, I felt that I was the one at fault. Something that I sense that I could not hear, see, or touch, is the sense that was most prominent; the feeling that the beauty was broken into and nothing was stolen. Nothing but pure hatred was the cause of this incident. I did not let this bring me down for I am stronger than the material things that I have and care for.